To je članek ki mi je rešil leto porodniške. Imela sem čudovito
dojenčico, dovolj obveznosti, da sem vsake toliko kam šla, ampak nekaj
me je težilo. Pa še sama nisem vedela kaj.Ko sem prebrala ta članek mi
je bilo vse jasno. Sem pač introvet. In rabila sem nekaj več časa, da
sem se pač navadila, da ni več toliko časa zame. Kar pa je zame kot
introverta obvezna sestavina.
o introvertiranosti pa kdaj drugič
When I ventured into parenthood just over 10 years ago, honestly, I
had no idea what I was getting myself into. Prior to having my
daughter, I had already worked from home for a few years. This meant I
could schedule meetings when I wanted to, but was rarely in situations
where I had to be with people.
Then along came my daughter: my beautiful, sweet, extroverted
daughter. My daughter who hated napping because it meant being away
from people. My daughter who was never happier than when she was out
and about, surrounded by lots of people, noise and activity. And 10
years in? She still thrives on activity. She could be with friends 24
hours a day. She still has a hard time falling asleep — I think to
her, it means giving up on all the fun and activity of the day.
Two and a half years after my daughter was born, Sammy joined us. Oh,
did he join us. He came out screaming and didn’t stop for months. And
you know what was super awesome? He, too, did best when we were out
and about. Surrounded by lots of people, noise and activity.
And me, the home body and introvert? I was, as you can imagine,
somewhat less excited about the prospect of being ‘out and about’ all
day, every day. Every single day… until Sammy was about 2. He didn’t
do well at home. He cried and fussed and needed constant entertainment
and stimulation.
And even as the kids got a bit older, and my high need toddler turned
into a home-loving, contented preschooler, the challenges of being an
introvert and a mom remained. While we didn’t need to be out all the
time, I discovered something interesting. Something no one tells you
before you have kids. Something someone MUST tell you before you have
kids:
They are with you ALL THE TIME.
As in 24 hours a day. If you’re lucky enough to have a baby or child
who sleeps through the night and takes naps, you get some down time.
If not, you’re screwed. 20 minutes naps scattered throughout the day
are NOT, in case you were wondering, enough time for an introvert to
re-charge his or her batteries.
When you go to bed, there is no guarantee they will not join you. When
you go to the bathroom, you can be certain they will follow you. When
you need 15 minutes of completely quiet, uninterrupted time just to
THINK, it will not happen.
You are ON. All the time. On call, on shift, on board. You have little
people needing Band-Aids, food, entertainment and perhaps most
importantly of all, for you to be emotionally present with them (not
just physically present, which is way easier in my opinion).
As an introvert, being alone is what energizes me. When I’m alone, I
can think about my kids, miss them and plan what we’re going to do
next. But when they’re with me ALL THE TIME, there is no time to think
about them, miss them or plan what we’re going to do next. I parent
off-the-cuff, doing what has to be done, putting out fires and getting
through the day.
I often tell people that I really only started to love parenting the
day my youngest started kindergarten. I know that sounds like a
terrible thing to say, but I think my temperament is a large part of
that. I loved my kids from the day they were born, but it was only
when I had time to think about them and to miss them that I really
started to love parenting.
While they’re at school, I have complete quiet in which to work, to be
alone with my thoughts and to plan what fun things we’re going to do
together. I may not have 24 hours a day with them anymore, but the
five hours between school and bedtime are more purposeful, more
special and definitely more fun.
If you’re an introvert and the parent of a small human, it can be very
freeing to realize that maybe it’s not just that you “don’t like the
baby stage.” Maybe it’s just that being with people 24 hours a day —
even the wonderful little beings you created — is difficult and
draining.
And it’s OK (and even, I think, necessary) to take time away from your
little energy-suckers to recharge and to think about them and to miss
them. That may mean getting a babysitter sometimes (even if you’re a
stay-at-home parent), getting a mother’s helper (a young teen or tween
to play with your kids so you can chill in your bedroom alone) or
setting them up with a movie so you can have an hour to re-charge your
batteries.
These things don’t make you a bad parent… they make you a wise and
realistic parent, one who understands and accepts your temperament and
limitations; one who does what’s necessary to keep your family and
home running smoothly.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/holly-klaassen/why-parenting-is-so-hard-for-introverts_b_5518659.html
